Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
In America we eat man semen.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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