I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
