dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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