If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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