so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
