just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
