yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
