honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
