You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
