So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
