he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
