My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
