i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
