he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
