okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
