I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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