No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
