so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
