Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
