i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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