i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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