he shaved USA in his pubs
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize