Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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