I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Randomize
