I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The cops high fived after they tackled you
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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