It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
