No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
