I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Don't EVER smell your tampon
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
