About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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