If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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