you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
