I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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