i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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