worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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