just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
