so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
