She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
