apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize