Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Houston, we have a blender
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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