Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
