So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
