You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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