If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
