what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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