I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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