Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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