I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize