theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
