i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
