Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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