worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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