I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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