i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
