Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
