she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
