Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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