maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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