Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
