All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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