Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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