these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize