The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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