white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
