she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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