wrigley field is MILF paradise
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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