I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
