Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
