You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
this boner is exhausting
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The power of my boobs compel you
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
