Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
