I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
